Kaizen Chaos

There once was a time I thought I may have burned some bridges with one of my best friends for the sake of my marriage and being what I thought was a “good wife” in lieu of being a “good friend.” You know what? When my marriage began to crumble she was the first one waiting to catch me if I fell. I have yet to hear an “I told ya so” and I know I never will. Now that’s a true fucking friend.

From the random strangers who browse my pages leaving encouraging words to my partner in crime/polar-opposite twin whom I’ve known almost all my life (and of course, Tom for creating MySpace) - THANK YOU.  I don’t know what I would do to get through this tough period in my life without you.

Because of you I am able to look forward to a new life of opportunity instead of dwell on a painful past. Because of you I am able to roll my lazy ass out of bed every morning even after I wake up and remember the shit I have to face for the time being. Why? Because I know I’m not alone. I know I’m not the only person to go through this and even if I was you’d all be there to listen and support me. Because I can pick up the phone and call you, sign on and e-mail you, or simply type my thoughts for you to see and I know you’re listening even if you don’t respond. It’s sad but comforting to know you will listen when the person I need to won’t. Hell, I don’t need a therapist. Like Turtle says, we facilitate our own group therapy. And let’s face it, our therapy is something you just can’t buy.

For example, this past weekend a couple of my oldest friends asked me to tag along to the state fair to see their beloved Counting Crows. We had an AWESOME time. We drove the entire way in deep, meaningful conversation without the need for music to pass the time. Once there I tried not to complain too much about getting my new shoes ridiculously muddy so we could rush the stage at a concert I probably never would’ve experienced had it not been for my friends. And I loved it. We ate greasy, nasty Long John Silver’s on the road and I found I enjoyed it as much as the disgusting corndog at the fair. Was it the most exciting thing I’ve ever done in my life? No. But I realized simplicity is spectacular in itself. I learned I can wash the mud off my shoes and I can work off the extra calories (if I must) but I cannot replace the precious time I spend with kickass friends whether we’re hanging out or traveling halfway across the state (and back I might add) for one night’s worth of simple, yet priceless memories.

Now that I am cognizant of this, I’m excited to say it’s only the beginning…

“Once you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” 

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