The Great Mississippi Valley Fair
Friends & Family, Fun, Life, Smiles - - Posted on July, 31 at 6:47 am
My friend TG (aka “Rudey”), LIVES for the week of the fair (and it just so happens it falls on her birthday every year!) She sent out the following e-mail and it’s just so funny I just HAD to share: 
Well it’s that time again, the day we’ve been waiting for. The Mississippi Valley Fair kick off!!! The agenda is as following:
Tuesday - Lonestar
Baby I’m Amazed by this fair and I’m so excited to be here!! It’s beautiful out here. I love being all the way up by the stage surrounded by all of the other fair fanatics. Isn’t this crowd great? I’m going to get a beer. Do you want one?
Wednesday - Josh Turner
Would You Go With Me to get the biggest corndog ever!!! I didn’t eat any fair food yesterday so what will one corn dog hurt? I hope the corndog vendor is sexy!! I love being surrounded by these people that I haven’t seen in a year!! I spent a lot of money on beer last night but oh well it’s the fair right? Let’s get another beer
Thursday - Gretchen Wilson
It sure is hot with all of these people smothering me in the crowd. My bottoms of my feet are permanently black and it sure makes me look like a Redneck Woman. The beer here is so expensive but I need another one. That fried corn dog with a fried funnel cake was sure a delicious supper. Maybe I’ll try some fried cheese for dessert
Friday - Poison
I just drank a few beers @ home to save money but I am ready to go now. That crowd looks a little packed. I think I’ll stand back here for a while. Oh look! There’s what’s his face again! I know I only see him once a year but now he thinks I want to talk to him. I’ll just stand over here in the food line so he doesn’t notice me. While I’m here I might as well eat again even if it makes me feel like an Unskinny Bop.
Saturday - Big & Rich
If one more Mother F@$#&R runs into me I am going to flip out. Can’t I just enjoy the concert without everybody surrounding me?? My nerves are shot and I need a drink. I’m down to my last $10. Should I buy a beer or should I save it for a fried horses leg? Naw! I’ll Save A Horse “Gimme another beer.”
Sunday - Chris Cagle
I have zero dollars left and it is way too hot to be around that many people. I’m not a crowd person anyway plus I have to go back to work tomorrow. I know that Chicks Dig It but I don’t know if I even want to see Chris Cagle. The outfit I had planned to wear doesn’t even fit right and I don’t even know why because I’ve been at the fair all week. It’s not like I’ve been sitting at home and eating all day. That’s it! I’m done drinking for a long time.
I hope to see you all there!!!!
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